forever in your heart
by gayporwave
Summary: Lucretia pines for Lup. Lucretia/Lup. (Originally written for hyenateeth, for Chocolate Box.)


_**Cycle 5**_ _ **(i)**_

The first time Lucretia notices Lup flirting with her is Cycle 5.

She can't be quite sure if Lup hadn't been flirting with her before. She certainly hadn't noticed but if she's being honest, she's terrible at noticing the sort of thing, even as observant as she normally is.

The thing is that Lup flirts with _everyone_ and Lucretia's already come to accept it as a natural part of her flamboyant personality. The way that just her mere presence fills up a room, bringing light and joy to everywhere she inhabits. Taako's much the same, but with Lup she notices it more and she's beginning to have an inkling as to why.

"Aw come on Lucy, are you sure you don't want to hang out?" Lup says, drawing out her sentence to a near whine. "Everyone's out there having fun and you're in here being _boring_. Taako and Magnus kissed, Merle's chatting up some plants, Dav's dancing. It's real buckwild shit out there, Lucy."

Lup's leaning against Lucretia, her head tucked into Lucretia's shoulder while she reads the journal Lucretia is currently writing in. It's really nothing all too interesting, just notes on the flora they've discovered thus far. She can feel every inch of Lup pressing against her and the sensation isn't unpleasant. Not at all.

She'd been uncomfortable with the casual contact at first, not because she disliked it but it just wasn't in her nature to be touchy-feely. Now she likes when Lup is affectionate: random brushes when they pass each other in the hallways of the Starblaster, generous hugs, playing with her hair as they talk to each other.

"I'm sorry but I have to finish this," she says apologetically, still not tearing her attention away from her journal as much as she'd like to just drop everything and give in. "As much as I'd like to see my fellow crew members embarrass themselves."

"You're no fun," Lup pouts against her shoulder. "Buuuut if you really have to then I'll see you later." She gives Lucretia a quick kiss on the cheek before skipping off to rejoin the others.

The kiss lingers on Lucretia's cheek for the rest of the night.

 _ **Cycle 13 (ii)**_

"There," Lup says, stepping back to inspect her handiwork. She passes a mirror to Lucretia.

This cycle's planet isn't too dissimilar to their own world: an organized society, mostly humanoid beings (the inhabitants of this planet are strange multi-colored multi-eyed legless creatures who shifted from corporeal to incorporeal at will), and an abundance of magic.

The ghasts, as they'd called themselves, had been very friendly from the start. Wholeheartedly interested in the story the I.P.R.E had to tell them. This cycle looked to be an easy one, especially since they easily retrieved the light of creation after it had landed in the midst of the ghast's sacred temple.

Tonight they'd been invited to a celebration thrown in their honor, to welcome the strange visitors from another plane. An opulent ball that required them to put on their best formal wear. Lucretia had asked Lup to help her get ready. Parties were never her strong suit, and she never wore makeup outside of special occasions.

"What do you think Lucy?" Lup asks while Lucretia gives herself a look over in the mirror. Inspecting herself from all angles with it. "It's not too much is it?"

Lucretia thinks she looks beautiful.

She's always liked the way Lup uses makeup on herself. All bright colors and shocking dramatic looks that instantly draw attention to her face wherever she goes. For Lucretia she's gone more subtle - smokey rose gold eyeshadow, light pink lipstick, and a small amount of blush for her cheeks. She never could have made herself look a fraction as nice as Lup has.

"No, it's perfect. Thank you, Lup," she says, and a wide grin spreads across Lup's face. Lucretia loves to make Lup smile, she cherishes every moment she gets to see it. Especially when she's the reason why.

She smiles back at Lup and for a moment their eyes meet. Lup is so beautiful and vibrant Lucretia can't help be besotted by her. She wants to reach out and kiss her, to smudge the makeup she worked so hard on. But she resists the urge, tearing herself away from Lup's gaze.

"You're welcome babe, not like you needed the makeup to look beautiful anyway." Lup winks, making Lucretia flush in embarrassment. "Now come on let's show you off." She extends her perfectly manicured hand toward Lucretia, who takes it eagerly.

 _ **Cycle 21 (iii)**_

Lucretia likes the Beach World.

She's never felt more relaxed than she does right now on their journey. There's no real need to write in her journals as often considering the planet is lifeless and ninety percent water, so she takes the time to enjoy herself. She's able to just lie back in the ocean and float mindlessly, emptying her head so she doesn't have to think of the seemingly endless journey they're on.

Today Lucretia decides to paint.

She finds the Beach World absolutely stunning. Its beauty surprises her every time she goes out to explore by herself. The pink suns in the aquamarine sky make a particularly beautiful sight at sunset and she's been itching to paint it ever since they arrived.

She's getting ready to set out with her art supplies in tow when Lup stops her. Lucretia is instantly suspicious. Lup has a look on her face that over the years Lucretia's come to identify as the one she only ever has when she's up to something.

"Hi, Lucy," Lup says, her voice sweet and innocent.

Definitely up to something, then.

She decides to go along with it, what's the worst that can happen? "Did you need something, Lup?"

"Are you busy right now?" Lup asks innocently, as if she can't see the giant case of art supplies and canvases Lucretia's currently struggling to lug around.

"I was planning on getting some painting done. Why?"

"Can I come with then?" she asks, chewing on her bottom lip while she waits for Lucretia to answer her. Lucretia finds it incredibly endearing. "Kinda getting tired of swimming all the time, y'know?"

"Of course," she nods, vaguely wondering why Lup would be nervous asking to tag along. "Do you mind giving me a hand with all this?"

"Sure, hand me something," Lup laughs, happily taking some of the load off of Lucretia.

While they walk together, Lucretia's curiosity gets the better of her. She knows she shouldn't pry, but she does anyway. "Is there a reason you decided to bother me?"

Lup frowns for a split second before she cracks a grin, "That obvious, huh? I just wanted to spend some time together, to you know...talk."

 _Huh_.

The two of them find a suitable spot on the beach to lay a blanket down on as they wait for the sun to start setting so Lucretia can paint it. It's very nice all things considered. The breeze is light and Lup lies beside her, quiet for once, resting her head on her palm as she watches Lucretia paint.

"I thought you wanted to talk," Lucretia says in between brush strokes. She's working on capturing the exact shade of pink she needs for the section of sky she's working on.

From the corner of her eye she can see Lup stretch languidly and yawn, tries not to stare as Lup's bathing suit rides up her chest slightly, exposing more of her tan breasts. "I did, but I got distracted watching you, wasn't that important anyway. You're so fascinating to watch when you're all focused, you know that right?"

Lucretia tries and fails not to smile, still focusing on getting the exact shade of pink she needs. She's pretty close, though it's a bit too light for her liking. "Am I?" she muses thinking about Lup's words. "Back at the I.P.R.E everyone would say I get too involved in my work, but I've always been a perfectionist, I suppose. I wanted to paint the sunset for a while. Sometimes words alone can't do something like this justice."

"Nerd," Lup teases extending a leg toward Lucretia and poking her with her big toe, making Lucretia drop her wet paintbrush right onto the sand in surprise at the sudden contact.

"Hey!" Lucretia laughs, shaking her head at Lup, who blows a raspberry at her in response.

 _ **Cycle 22 (iv)**_

Because good things can never last forever, Lup dies for the first time this cycle.

Lucretia holds her when she dies, the only one around to witness her shaking breathing as she chokes on her own blood. Taken out by a nasty wound straight through the chest thanks to a stealth retrieval of the light gone wrong.

She can physically feel Lup's blood seep into her clothing and it takes all her strength to stay composed for Lup's sake. To not cry while she holds Lup's hands in hers and watches the life slowly leave her with every breath. Lup's grip starts to go slack and she mouths a quick "I love you" and then, before Lucretia knows it, she's gone. She tries not to cry when she lets go of Lup, tries to remind herself that she'll be back next cycle.

A dark, bitter part of her hopes this gods-forsaken planet suffers when the Hunger eventually comes.

 _ **Cycle 36 (v)**_

Lucretia knows she's in love with Lup now.

It's taken many more years than it should have but she can say for certain that yes, she's in love.

In love with the way she smiles and lights up the room, the way her golden hair shines in the sunlight, the way she wields raging fire at her fingertips, her capacity to love everyone, and Lucretia knows she's in deep. That she's being overly poetic but it's the truth.

She feels like a moth caught in Lup's light.

Lup, who is currently snoring away beside her, stirs in her sleep. It's not uncommon for any of them to share beds, as long as they've been traveling with each other. It just happens to be Lup in her bed tonight while she has a late night epiphany.

Lucretia wants to reach out and touch her, to run her hands through her long, curly locks. She sees one of Lup's eyes blink open to look right at her.

"Lucy?" Lup asks her voice heavy with sleep. "What time is it?"

"Late."

"Any reason why you're still up?" She raises an eyebrow and sits up, looking concerned.

"Not really, just thinking," Lucretia answers back. She can't exactly be all too honest about being all in her feelings at the moment considering the reason why is staring her in the face. She tries to deflect, "Funny you're the one saying that considering you don't even _need_ to sleep."

"I like to though, whatcha thinking about?"

 _Dammit._

"A lot of stuff I guess," she says, carefully considering her next words. "It's all I seem to do nowadays, can't really turn it off."

It's not exactly a lie.

"I wish you could. I hate to see you worry so much, you take everything so serious I wish things could be easier on you, on all of us." Lup frowns and reaches over to slot her fingers in between Lucretia's. "I love you, you know that right?"

Lucretia's heart wrenches. She knows Lup has no idea of what she's said, but it hurts anyway. "I know, I love you too. I love everyone on this crew, we're family."

Lup's frown deepens and she sighs, pulling her hand away from Lucretia's. "I'm gonna go cook us some grub, okay?"

"Okay." Lucretia feels like she's done something terribly wrong but can't figure out what exactly. She debates stopping Lup and asking what went wrong but decides to let her go.

 _ **Cycle 45 (vi)**_

The audience cheers all around them but Lucretia can't hear them, her focus solely on Lup. Beautiful perfect Lup whose bright sparkling red dress pales in comparison to the delighted laughter coming from Lup.

"Lucretia, do you wanna go talk somewhere for a while?" she says in between giggles.

"Yeah," Lucretia says back still laughing along with her. She can't seem to stop, but truthfully she doesn't want to.

The next moments are a blur: they submit their sheet music and dance steps to the pedestal, make their way out sidestepping any of the Starblaster crew, and run up the valley back to the Conservatory still hand in hand.

"I can't..." Lup pants once they've stopped to catch their breaths. "Believe it took us that long. Decades, Lucy! Literally decades! You danced with me for weeks, I hung out with you all the time, I said I love you, and you still didn't realize anything!"

Lucretia lets go of Lup's hand to bring her closer, hugging her tightly. "I know, I just...you flirted with everyone. I didn't think you would like someone...like me," she says sheepishly.

Lup bops her on the nose with one finger, making Lucretia giggle. "If I didn't want to kiss you so much right now, I'd be so mad. I've been in love with you for decades Lucy, how could I not be?"

She then pulls Lucretia's face closer and kisses her. It's everything Lucretia imagined and more, her lips are soft and she can taste the flavor of Lup's lip gloss as they kiss. Reluctantly she pulls away to breathe.

"Wow, why weren't we doing that sooner?"

"Gee, I don't know. It's almost like someone was totally oblivious," Lup deadpans and Lucretia playfully swats her on the shoulder.


End file.
